Hope you like the story, it takes place in the AWL world.
Note:I'm a beginner story writer so it may not be that good.

Chapter 1:The Dream

Alvis woke up in astonishment and confusement . He sighed with relief
It had been just a dream, sirens had been roaring loudly and bright lights had been flashing as he watched his house burn to the ground and his parents wither away.
He shook his head, could this be a warning sign as what was to come? No, it couldn't be he thought as he hopped out of bed and onto the soft rug that lay before him.
He grabbed his bag and went down stairs to breakfast, there was a delicious smell of bacon and toast wafting through the kitchen.
He pulled out a chair and sat down, "mornin' pa, mornin' ma" he murmered through a moughful of bacon.
"mornin son" his mother and father said.


Alvis had black ruffled hair, from his father Marlin, and brown eyes from his mother Jill, his skin was tan from working in the sun for so long, he was pretty good at taking care of the plants and animals, he wished to take over the farm when he was old enough.

He got off his chair and put a cantine of water around his neck and headed off to the crop fields.

To be continued...

So how do you like it so far?

It's pretty good so far. I can't wait for chapter 2 ^^

Thanks! I'll post chapter two now.

Chatpter 2:The Signs

Alvis strolled over to the crop fields, he began towards a shed witch held tools of all shapes and sizes he went in side and picked a shiny gold watering can and came back outside, he then started to water the tomatoes.
Before long he heard a scream of terror and breaking glass he threw aside his watering can and ran towards the source of the sound, his house.
He glanced a very shady figure, he became frightend and began running faster towards his house only stopping to open the door, there he found his mother looking shocked at a rock and shattered glass laying on the floor.

Alvis began "What, what happend here?!!".

His mother looked at him and started "I don't know" she said in a muffled voice, his mother picked up the rock, there was a note attached, she began to read "If you want to live come by to the waterfall bringing 5 million G at 3 AM on April 5"
His mother looked shocked and so did he, "That's 3 days from now!" his mother said.
"What are we going to do mom?" said Alvis.
His mother shook her head, "I don't know Alvis, I don't know...".

To be continued...

So how did you like that chapter?
No more until tomorrow!

"awesome, awesome, AWESOME!"

I like the story!!MORE MORE!!its good!

oh... like it..so good..

Okay, here is the 3rd chapter!

Chapter 3:Foul Hearts (part 1)

Alvis began "We don't have 5 million G though mom!"His mother wiped a tear from her eye and sat down on a chair, "I don't think we can do anything but wait...." his mother said.
"No" boomed Alvis "We will not let this man take control of are lives, we must fight together and stop him!".
"Your right Alvis but we don't even know who this person is how can we be sure it's the real person we're looking for?".
Alvis fell silent, he hadn't thought of that then he began "We just have to be fully alert then".
Hs mother nodded and went into the kitchen.

Alvis went outside and began heading towards the village, but he stopped short and spotted a beatiful Maiden out of the corner of his eye, he headed towards her.
Alvis was stunned by her beatuy, he started "Wha, what your name" he said in a stunned tone of voice "Elisa" the maiden answered back.

To be continued...

So how did you like this chapter?

"awesome, more more!"

Okay, but no more until tomorrow after this!

Chapter 4:Foul Hearts (part 2)
"I'm,I'm.... Alvis" he answered back shaking.
"Nice name" she answered back.
"Gotta run" said Alvis nervously, he had just the beatifuliest girl he had ever seen.
Alvis ran towards a feild of "toy flowers" and picked one smelling it then picking more until he had picked the whole field, he then ran to the spot where Elisa was and gave them to her.
"Thanks" Elisa said cooly twirling her hair in her fingers.
"Wanna go out some time?" said Alvis nervously as he blushed.
"Sure" said Elisa "Is Friday good for you?" said Elisa cooly.
"Yes" said Alvis.
The leaned in and kissed.
"How about by the waterfall, we can have some peace and quiet there" said Elisa.
"Okay" said Alvis.
"7 PM good for you?" she said
"Yes" said Alvis
"Bye" the both said and walked off.

Not only was she beatiful, she was nice and kind-hearted, at least that's what he thought.
Wait a minute he thought, could she be the one who sent us that letter?
No it couldn't be he though as he walked towards his house, no the one who sent letter was going to the waterfall at 3 AM.

He sighed and opened the door to his house and walked in.

To be countinued...

How did you like this chapter?

"AWESOME THEY KISSED WOOOH YEAH! do i have to wait for tomorrow?" T.T *get's on knees and begs*

Yes, you do have to wait until tomorrow, sorry. As much as I like to write stories I don't want this story to finish too fast. You'll have something to look forward to tomorrow.

omg this is getting good!
now i have something to look forward to tommorrow!!

"aww pwetty pwease with a choco chip cookie on top?"

that's really good! ^^ but I think you rushed a bit on the kissing part.

I think I did too, but it was just a quick peck like the one you would give your mother.
I was going write the next chapter, but it's getting late so I'll save it for tomorrow.

"Aww flipersnickets!"

Hmm...


It's a good story. I like your plotline, and your descriptions are pretty well-thought out. However, it feels a bit rushed to me. Myabe if you made the chapters longer and gave yourself a little more time for character and plot development, it wouldn't be as rushed. Don't just skip past the details; they're what makes a story really good! If you think a chapter is too short, go back and find a place where you can add some more description.


Instead of:

"It was cold outside."



Use this:

"The bitterly cold winter wind froze the tears right off of my face as I dashed out of the door, trying my hardest not to break down into complete hysterics."

Your right, it is a little rushed and it isn't very descriptive.
When I thinking my thoughts for stories are very dramatic and descriptives, but when I write them It turns out like this.
I'll try to be more descriptive and not rush the story.